Fierce Self-Compassion
by Kristin Neff, PhD
I don’t read many books that fall in the ‘self-help’ genre, being a ‘novel geek.’ But my daughter introduced me to Dr. Neff’s beautiful work about self-compassion and I found her insights, stories and exercises spot on.
My first question, of course, was ‘what exactly is self-compassion? Here’s a few words of description from Dr. Neff’s introduction:
Women still live in a male-dominated society, and we need all the tools we can get our hands on to emerge triumphant but also healthy and whole. One of the most powerful weapons in our arsenal is caring force. Tender self-compassion harnesses the energy of nurturing to alleviate suffering, while fierce self-compassion harnesses the energy of action to alleviate suffering—when these are fully inegrated, they manifest as caring force. Our force is more effective when it’s caring because it combines strength with love.
And Dr. Neff doesn’t just talk about and describe self-compassion. She leads the reader through a process of personal exploration, guided exercises, and meditations designed to cultivate self-compassion. She deals with the tough stuff. Here’s a few of the chapter titles:
Balance and Equality at Work
Caring for Others Without Losing Ourselves
What We Do For Love
Becoming a Compassionate Mess
In this book I found help for some knotty relationships issues I have been dealing with, along with affirmation of my recently strengthened “No” muscle. (Side note, a friend introduced me to the idea of “50 Shades of No”). I found journal prompts and guided meditations, which I plan to continue using long after turning the final page of the book.
Dr. Neff teaches Mindful Self-Compassion workshops around the world, and offers her guided meditations at www.self-compassion.org.
As I said, you won’t find many self-help books in my blog posts. But this work is so valuable I wanted to share it. Fierce self-compassion needs to take root - in our hearts and minds, in our collective consciousness and all of our relationships.